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How to begin a conversation

Good ways to start a conversation - Wantmatures Blog

A conversation can start in many ways regardless of whether you are lonely, divorced, a senior man or mature woman, single, in a relationship, or in a marriage. A conversation can begin if you are seeking information, trying to solve an awkward silence, or just being polite. The way you initiate it is a personal thing, but it is advisable to do it with respect in a clear voice so the recipient can respond accordingly. Failure to do so could provoke a surprising or unwanted reaction and ruin the purpose of your conversation starter. This is particularly relevant when looking for love or interacting with members and fellow users on online dating sites. Neither men nor women seek to use a service like the Wantmatures site to encounter rude or abusive behavior, so the first impression you create with a conversation is vital.

How to start a new conversation

Potential lines to start a conversation with a prospective partner are completely different from those you would have at a bus stop when you meet a stranger or if you spoke with a work colleague. The dialogue used in different situations is incomparable when looking for love. People come to your profile to be inquisitive and to flirt in a totally contrasting way that they would speak to you in public.

Face-to-face conversations are generally more difficult than remote ones because people lack confidence and shy away from being upfront when someone is directly in front of them. Being behind a computer screen, phone or tablet allows you to use the device as a protective barrier from your own insecurities. This, in turn, leads any conversation down a completely separate path than to that of a real-life chat.

Beginning a conversation with someone you know is an entirely different entity from one with a person you have not met before. Striking up a conversation with someone you fancy and want to get to know has its own identity to both, similarly with online dating. Let’s breakdown how you may approach each;

Someone you know:

  • Could use slang language, nicknames and be louder or brasher if you know them well enough
  • Lead with a personal greeting or private joke
  • ●nitiate conversation with a topic you mutually know, i.e., hobbies/work/family
  • Potentially begin by the continuation of a previous chat you had or by finishing off an earlier conversation between the two of you.

Someone you don’t know:

  • Likely to be more polite and less assuming in your approach
  • Leading with an observation or a general topic such as the weather
  • Could potentially ask a question to break the ice, e.g., pretending to ask the time before following up with further chat should they respond warmingly to your request
  • It might be risky by cracking a joke as the first point of contact and could make or break the rapport between the two of you

Someone you want to get to know (face-to-face):

  • You may proceed with caution as you are nervous or shy
  • Possibly find yourself stuck for words and don’t talk about everything you wanted to
  • Come across differently than 1) you want to or 2) the way you usually are
  • Alternatively, your apprehension could send you the other way whereby you talk too much, don’t let them get a word in, and completely ruin your first conversation by being too over the top.

Someone you want to get to know (Online):

  • Can afford to be more direct as you are technically hiding behind a device, so nerves might not be as apparent
  • Have time to think of your next move and can delete or amend as you go along before sending
  • Be cautious because whoever you are messaging may have received dodgy messages from unwanted profiles, and be wary of engaging if you are not polite and respectful from the off

How to start a positive conversation

There are many ways to start a conversation, and ideally, you want it to be a positive experience. To avoid negativity and to put a sour note on your initial conversation, use additional elements to your advantage, such as body language. The way you present yourself can have a huge effect on the recipient’s perception of you and how they interpret the words you relay to them.

By smiling whenever possible, you portray positivity. Moving your hands as you speak tells them that you are confident and into this conversation. If you sit arms folded, reclined, or with a frowned expression at all, they are not going to warm to you and may not take the conversation as you intend it to be taken. This can both damage relations and frustrate both parties.

Compliments are always a positive method of starting a conversation (even if they are false!). You could compliment the following when you strike the conversation either from your heart or just to get the words flowing between the two of you:

  • Hair
  • Shoes
  • Handbag
  • Makeup
  • Clothes
  • Pet (If accompanied with it)
  • Child (If applicable and appropriate)
  • Car
  • Eyes
  • Smile
  • Tan
  • Facial hair
  • Pregnancy bump (Be certain before trying this one!)
  • Jewelry
  • Accessories like hats, scarves, ties, belts, or throws
  • Tattoos
  • Piercings
  • Lips
  • Teeth
  • Glasses/Sunglasses
  • Facemask/face-covering
  • Coat/Jacket
  • Their company (If something branded is displayed upon them)

If you really want to maintain a positive vibe when you start a conversation, there are a few topics that may seem common enough to discuss but can quickly turn sour depending on the circumstances or the environment you are in. This is particularly relevant if you do not know the person you are speaking with well or if they are a complete stranger;

Topic Discussed How It Could Go Wrong

  • Sport
  • Weather
  • Holidays
  • Politics
  • Trivial Matters

Topic Discussed How It Could Go Wrong

  • You could support rival teams
  • Can change any minute
  • They may not be able to afford one
  • You could back opposing parties
  • Moaning about insignificant topics can be distressing to someone who is going through a tough time (family member is ill etc.) You never know a persons patience or tolerance levels

Ideas to start a conversation

As we have seen, there are many things to say to start a conversation, and equally, there can be several instances where you were not planning to strike one up but find yourself having to. Common areas for this occurrence would be things such as;

  • You see someone drop something and want to alert them
  • Someone leaves something behind, and you want to give it back to them
  • Road-rage
  • Supermarket trolley rage
  • Someone has jumped a queue
  • You see someone in trouble
  • First Aid incidents
  • You intervene when seeing inappropriate behavior
  • A lost child or pet
  • You need to borrow something
  • Someone is in your way or obstructing you, and you need to ask them to move
  • You need to help yourself
  • To ask the time
  • To request directions

If you happen to be in the company of someone who is specially reserved, shy, or introverted and cannot get much dialogue out of them, it can be challenging at times. Some people are comfortable this way and prefer silence and not talking for the sake of it rather than non-stop pitter-patter of the gums. On occasion, a suitable way to initiate conversation when in these circumstances would be to play a game, participate in a sport, or quiz so the chat can flow naturally when something occurs. Introverts often prefer this kind of logical discussion that appears naturally rather than forced dialogue that they deem unnecessary. For example, a game of golf can automatically spark conversation about a hole, an individual shot, or the form of either player, which flows progressively into a more natural natter between the two parties. Similar tactics can be used when broaching a shy person on a dating site like Wantmatures, offering to play something online together, or visiting a bowling alley. A game of cards or a board game creates conversation topics that are relevant and interesting, not predetermined and boring to them.