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How to create the best first online dating messages

Online dating the first message - Wantmatures Blog

The best online dating messages delivered on a first message dating site like WantMatures can be pivotal in the initial stages of contact between users. Creating the best possible first message to send is a fine balancing act between being interesting and respectful. If you lean too much one way or the other, you risk losing the interest of members you want to flirt with. You need to catch the eye of the single man or woman you seek to meet and build a relationship with but will end up lonely and still looking for love with an overbearing or boring message.

Online dating: the first message and how it portrays you

Sweetheart, perv, intriguing, rude, cheeky, boring...all of these are potential first things that pop into someone’s head when they receive a message. All of which will provoke a reaction, and in online dating, it can be broken down into three different categories;

  • Reply
  • Maybe later
  • Delete

More often than not, there is a fine line between each of these categories. Below, we provide an example from each and examine what you can do to help your situation if you find yourself in one of them;

The message: “Hi, I noticed on your profile you are into cars. I am a mechanic and thought you had really nice eyes in your main picture. Hope you don’t mind me getting in touch.”

If you sent it: Nicely balanced between giving information about yourself and taking an interest in them. Asked a friendly and open question politely and respectfully while making a complimentary observation.

If you received it: You would probably reply out of courtesy even if you did not immediately fancy them from looks alone because of the well-worded message.

What happens next: Probably maintain a decent conversation level before establishing whether there is a spark between you and you wish to meet up.

The message: “I can’t believe you are into cars, me too! If you fancy a chat, let me know x”

If you sent it: Probably a bit too casual and light to guarantee a response. There is no urgency, and you don’t really come across like you are that keen.

If you received it: You’ll probably reply if you are bored at some point but won’t be rushing to get back to them (unless they are hot!) Not that flattered but not offended either.

What happens next: You’ll chat back and forth several times before losing interest and moving on.

The message: “Hey babe, sick car in the photo. I can see myself under that bonnet for a LONG time getting nice and dirty. We should hook up for a ride you won’t forget ;)”

If you sent it: You have gone too far. This is cheap, sleazy, and disrespectful.

If you received it: Delete it

What happens next: You have next to no chance of a reply to a message like this and are likely to get blocked.

Sending a cute first message is risky but rewarding

Online dating message examples vary from profile to profile, from men to women and will be vastly different from senior and mature to young and innocent. If you are looking for love and speaking to a potential partner from an online service, whether you have recently left a marriage, are divorced, or just unlucky in love, WantMatures could be ideal for you.

As long as you know the difference between being cute and being sleazy, then plucking up the courage to send a cute message can be extremely rewarding. By being cheeky (not too cheeky!), confident and taking an interest in the other person is a solid base to build from. Everyone has a different interpretation of how to define “cute”, of course, so if you don’t want to leave it to chance, do some research. By scanning and studying the personal information on the other person’s profile and picking out elements to focus on can give you some leverage. Suppose you are selective about what you bring up in conversation (Don’t go overboard with the detail and sound like a stalker). In that case, you are lowering the risk of rejection and increasing the likelihood of a response.

It can be nerve-wracking, particularly if someone really catches your eye and you want to impress them. The good thing is, even if the butterflies are going crazy in your stomach and you feel flustered, you are not face-to-face. That is the beauty of online dating. It allows you the time, space, and platform to take your time and mess up your words when nervous. Proofreading what you write is always a good idea before hitting send but try not to obsess over it. If you have read it a dozen times and still not decided, then it’s two options: not interested (taking too long to reply) or really boring (your message is error-free). We are human, lave something for them to interpret, and if they get the wrong end of the stick, then at least it is a potential discussion point to develop the chat with.

What is a good message to send on a dating site?

Good messages to send on dating sites examples tend to be the ones that are natural and not forced. The only way to achieve this is not to put yourself under too much pressure to produce the best online dating message ever. Setting such high standards for yourself is a recipe for disaster and could ultimately be your downfall. The art of sending a good message is about giving the reader something to reply to and making it something they WANT to reply to not feel like they have to. As soon as they feel obliged, you will either be ‘friend-zoned or brushed off quicker than you can say s-i-n-g-l-e-f-o-r-e-v-e-r.

If you can link something they are into (from their profile) to something relevant and interesting about you and your hobbies, then it can be a terrific base. An example could be a coincidental truth or some fabrication to prolong the conversation; just be careful if you go down the latter route not to tie yourself up in knots. Lies can quickly spiral out of control no matter their size or significance. It is all well and good to pretend you like cats to play up to a clue from her profile picture (just stay clear of any pussy references for now), but a taller tale with more meat to it can be extremely tricky to get out of. For example, in a moment of madness, you get carried away in trying to be all macho and try to impress a girl with stories from your junior boxing background (when the truth is, you spent your teens playing call of duty) it can spectacularly backfire and leave you looking foolish when she reveals her dad is the national junior boxing coach and he’s never heard of you.

OK, that may be a bit extreme. Still, the lesson is when exaggerating to gain favor, know your limitations, and manage your own expectations of yourself. Adrenaline in the moment of excitement is like making decisions with your trousers, not your brain. Use your words wisely!